“Most things about me are hard to explain, I guess, like how I’m mostly delusional and live in a half-imaginary world but am also a realist to the core. I’m just a bunch of contradictions most of the time and I don’t like it, but I also do.”– Marianna Paige
I guess every break when I’ve time on my hands I overthink. Good and bad, though I am still complaining. Also just saw that I have over 400 followers here. Weird, but I’m thankful to whoever that reads my shit because its pretty negative sometimes. I mean, am I even remotely interesting? Well thats not my thought today I’ve only thought of it now so thats not what I was going to blog about.
Today I thought about feelings. Good feelings. Feelings I never had before. It stings. Not in a bad way. I found myself smiling at nothing, getting anxious at the same time hopeful. I want to share this feeling, but because its so unfamiliar I want to hide it. I did things I normally wouldn’t. I said things I’ve always laughed at. I like, and dislike this change. I don’t understand this change, I yearn to grasp this concept, but also am scared to try. I want to leave this alone and go back to my comfortable shell, but I also desire to leave this dark corner. But most of all, I am afraid to give in.