No two share the same day
No two share the same thoughts
But could two share the same soul bruised by age?
Been a while.
Been pretty fine lately, maybe because its the break so I am feeling quite nice.
Here’s a recent favourite,
Not sure if it would come out well, I do not have much confidence on the youtube embed system..
Insanity, why are you my clarity?
Anyway, it has been a rough few nights. Not entirely sure what’s happening because I do not feel stress or any outburst of negativity recently. The bad dreams, they keeping coming back. Not nightmares, just unpleasant dreams. Quite real, perhaps that’s why I grew sceptical and slowly became fearful. Come to think of it, they weren’t always that bad. Once I dreamt of some friends with bombastic hairstyles that will bring them to top headlines if it were real. I hope this is not one of those deja vu dream. I guess the worst of it all is the fact that I will wake up almost every hour, to see the time on my too brightly lit phone screen and then sadly lay my head down trying to sleep again. Entering another completely different but equally horrible dream. I rather have those serial killer third party dreams. At least for the most part of my sleep, I am not myself any more. Maybe the true fear and abstain I get from all these dreams, were how shockingly similar they are to the reality. I just want the night to be a whole new parallel where things happen and I shrug it off in the morning and laugh it off in the afternoon, and forget about in the evening. Quite simple a request, is it normal though. Does others get the same mindset or am I just being me.
Stay Strong, Keep Moving, Don’t Let the Darkness Blind Us.
Carry On, We Will Be the Ones, to Bring the Stars Down to Us.
Currently very confused about my future.
What do I want in life.
What do my family want in life.
What do my family want for me in life.
What can I give to my family.
What does my family want me to give.
Can I provide for my loved ones.
What can I even provide.
What is expected of me.
Is something even expected of me.
What am I expecting from myself.
What does all this gives.
Does it even matter.
What am I living for.
What does my family thinks I am living for.
What does everyone thinks I am living for.
What does everyone thinks.
Does it really matter.
What does all these even mean?
Sometimes I really think I have a really really old soul. Or maybe just a depressed young soul that is clueless. Clueless about life.
Perhaps that’s why I am struggling.
When am I growing out of this phase?