I mean it’s all typed out smoothly but I can’t voice it. Can’t put a ring to it. I don’t know whats keeping me back and I am afraid of.
Nah I still can’t. Keeping quiet and getting no reactions is way easier then getting reaction and attention. I am so scared of what attention can do already so might as well stealth my way though. Ah maybe even if it means lunches alone on the roof with packed sandwiches in shows. No but seriously….
But why do I still feel weird and tingly inside when I realise I am no longer in the circle. I saw myself out because i didn’t know what else is better than distance.
I am such a conflicting mess.
“We are all so afraid, we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist. So, for a time, if such a passion come to fruition, the man will get what he wants. He will get the moral support, the encouragement, the relief from the sense of loneliness, the assurance of his own worth. But these things pass away; inevitably they pass away as the shadows pass across sundials. It is sad, but it is so. The pages of the book will become familiar; the beautiful corner of the road will have been turned too many times. Well, this is the saddest story.”
― Ford Madox Ford
People just gives up and leave each time I feel like I was never truly worth it. But then again, if someone told me no, I would leave too. Perhaps its only human to seek acceptance.
GROW UP WEIZHU. Make a face.