Beeeeeeeeeen quite a while.
Didn’t want to leave my blog in such a depressed tone but I could not find any worthy inspiration to jot down. Quick update.
I went to several temples today with my mom, prayed, and even had my ‘aura’ taken. Its a polaroid shot of me, depicting the color image I gave out and it gives me a report along with it. Among all I felt the portion which mentioned about how I stick to expressing thoughts and deep emotions in a way I like, and if the situation proved to be otherwise, I shut down. (Perhaps why I like to blog my way out) My sister said this is bad when I go into the workforce in the future, it will put me at a disadvantage compared to the articulated. I know to a certain extent this is right, but I dislike the fact that it implies I have to change, according to the society in order to gain the opportunities that ought to be equal for all because the norm thinks I am different. Why do I think in such a way.
On another note, fact number (x+1) about me. (I am not nerdy I just forgot how many facts I shared. Oh bummer I kid.）
Thoughtful. Thoughtless. A thin, thin line walks between the two. Sometimes when you think you are being thoughtful to one you actually are being really thoughtless from their view. All your good will goes to waste, all their scars comes to burn. Helping, personally I like receiving help. Who doesn’t. But helping me hold my stuff while I tie my shoelaces is help, and helping me decide how I think is help. Guess what? Not helping. I sound really like a mean old twat now but I sincerely hate it when people assume. “Hey i will never judge you.” “Hey I bet you like that guy/ Hey you probably came from feel—– right!/ Hey don’t fake, you secretly like it don’t you.” etc. I don’t know if anyone can see the similarities I pull from the examples. There isn’t a reason for me to fake or hide if in the first place you are close enough to say these things so me. A thin line again, between peer mockery; which brings laughter and fun, and judgmental jokes; which I hate, not only because I am a mean Scorpio who doesn’t get happy. But feeling happy and being happy are two totally different entities. Fuck I am such a miserable person.
NAHH I AINT DEPRESSED AND SHIT. Just that pouring out my thoughts makes this blog dark. My life, you are welcome.