“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”

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hi. I wanted to post so here’s a consolidation of my stolen thoughts. Because sometimes, nothing going in my mind I could put in words, and picture I come across while web pondering, is good.

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I think I have once or many times, mentioned about my ambition to study aboard. To be in a place I have never been, with people I never knew and start the phase of life I deeply desire. But then fear, the most detested root of all regrets creeps in and I start doubting myself as the time that I could fulfil that dream nears. I started to panic for the smallest of things, what if i failed? What if there are bullies? What if I get murdered? What if, I am nowhere as capable of surviving on my own as I thought I am, and i break apart? So many what ifs, i hate this part of my nature.

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Everything. Like the song goes

“I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair and cut my skin
I try everything to make them see me
But all they see is someone that’s not me

Even when I’m walking on barb wire
Even when I set myself on fire”

Sometimes I feel even the most confident person I see everyday, feels this way deep inside. Because we are all humans, we never are enough. Someone else always have it all.

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Don’t we all sometimes break out into the world of daydreams, of sunsets, rainbows and unicorns?

I kid. I wouldn’t like unicorns. They are creepyass horses with freaking rhino horns on their heads.

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Everyone takes a different stand. Sometimes, that stand of yours may be real close to another, but it will never be exactly the same. Thats why as time passes we find out, we uncover the flaws between stands and we feel betrayed. But is the fault really on the gaps between the stands, or it is just the lack of ability of us to see it?

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Above basically sums up all.

I am wondering, it would be better if,

you get what you want and love

or

you get what you need but like.

See the difference?  What would be best?

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