Touche it’s the last day of the year and I am sitting here not really proud to announce that none of my new year resolutions of 2012 have been achieved. I think only one is unlocked. Sad life is mundane. This is going to be filled with youtube GIF tho because I think they expresses some of my feelings better than I do. And yes, last day of the year.
YEAP. Okay maybe my year wasn’t that all bad, I probably made a mountain out of most of life’s little molehills as a pessimistic bitch I was, still am. And deemed the worst out of situations and people I deserves to be be locked up in a cave. But yes, this year has it’s good.
So before everyone goes
“Oh I hope this new year will be different!”
“2013 is going to be wayyyy better!!”
“2012 is bad, please be kind to me 2013.”
Nope I think I have walked passed the dreadful phase of life where I post anticipates, begs, wishes for the new year to be substantially helpful in my life. Nothing against people who actually say all these, everyone have their own thoughts, I just found this to be irrelevant for me personally. Because saying this stuff means absolutely nothing if nothing on your part is going to be played on the same year. If you say anything remotely near the mentioned sentences and did your part in making it legit, good for you. You are worthy of all respect hands down bowing. But no, knowing I am not such talent I thought I ought to skip such big words laid.
But since it is the last day of year, I thought it would be nice for me to reflect on my doings this year. Instead of normally writing down my wishes for the new year.
Annoying not so… OK who am I kidding. I annoy myself, people annoy me babies annoy me dogs annoy the crap out of me and everything that basically sits out of my comfort zone annoys me. But living life IS everything out of my comfort zone isn’t it? Being annoyed doesn’t mean I can’t be enjoying the same moment. Sounds contradictory but yes, I do sometimes enjoy doing things out of my comfort zone, foreign as it may be its an experience to learn.
There are awesome adventures (tho not really adventures but using the word makes me sound like i have a life.) and bad times but I will try to let the awesome ones cover the unpleasant ones because that’s how I roll. Oh yeah.
But sometimes as I lay down at night all the worst, awkward/embarrassing/mean/sad/times I wished I was a plant, moments stays flashing back in my mind and I proceed to fall into a spiralling vortex of self loathe and cringing uncomfortable-ness. And I desperately wish to kill that part of my brain like
But I can’t.
But who kids, life HAS to be hard, otherwise living is meaningless and survival serves no purpose.
But I think I have a part to play making other’s lives hard, on purpose or not. I don’t actually know of one solid example I just assume being a mean bitch I would have done it in some point or another.
except if you are the one person I screwed up , I am sorry you can’t actually hi five the GIF.
But yes, so instead of putting out wishes for the new year, I would like to bet myself.
1) If I would stay true to who I am and what I want to become and work towards it,
2) If I could stop being affected by what I presume others are thinking about me,
3) If I could ignore stupid inclinations to do stuffs I will probably regret and that memory will probably end up in the series of moments I recall in times like the above mentioned as I lie down sometime in the future.
So yes I will attempt to fight off all odds and try to win the bet.
okay confession. I actually wanted to spam some photos and GIFs of hotness I have recently discovered in this post. so here, allow me to wallow in self pity about why my view of people in my own country is pathetically poor and indulge myself in the perfect delusion of the virtual world and the faraway land filled with hot kids.
HAPPY SOON TO BE NEW YEAR EARTHLINGS.